


lost on you

by thedarknesswithin (babylxxrry)



Series: all that glitters is not gold [1]
Category: Pentatonix, Superfruit
Genre: Angst, Character Study, M/M, Overthinking, kind of, look i tried to post this once before and smth went wrong so lol, this is like all mitch angst lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 21:45:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9404390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babylxxrry/pseuds/thedarknesswithin
Summary: mitch thinks a lot.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xxCat1989xx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxCat1989xx/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Iceland](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9349661) by [xxCat1989xx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxCat1989xx/pseuds/xxCat1989xx). 



> hi so i tried to post this once but ao3 fucked me over for some reason so  
> this is a gift for cat bc they're awesome and love mitch angst as much as i do.
> 
> maybe tw for mentions of anxiety attacks and some type of falling off the proverbial mental cliff bc of overthinking???? idk how to warn about that, pls let me know if you do :|
> 
> before you read on, i don't have enough info on shawn or his relationship with scott to give a canon pov. take this as a branch of possible happening? idk man just know that i don't hate him and i think he's a nice enough person from what i do know. don't start a discourse about that please. thanks.  
> i also don't know/was too lazy to do research on their accommodations in iceland so pls bear with me as i try to angst shit up with fictional situations :]
> 
> NOW ENJOY!

Mitch tries to ignore the way Scott’s gaze lingers on Shawn whenever they interact. He tries hard, he really does, but he can’t help but see the way Scott’s eyes light up, the way his face brightens and his posture straightens and, on one _memorable_ occasion, the way his pupils had widened and he’d slid himself out from under Mitch to sit up and offer Shawn the spot between Mitch and himself.

Yeah, that’d been quite the moment.

Mitch flips over in his bed, trying to close his eyes and fucking sleep, but he can’t help staring at the empty bed that Scott should be in. The cabin they’d rented had three rooms- two doubles and a single. Candice had, logically, taken the single, and Mitch was about to loop Scott into sharing a room because that’s what they’ve done since they were in in high school, right? Scott glances at Shawn and says that he ‘knows that Mitch needs his own space’ and that he’ll ‘share with Shawn, if that’s alright?’

Mitch had wanted to protest, had wanted to remind Scott that he doesn’t do well when he’s alone because he _doesn’t like being alone and for the love of god, Scott, you know that I think too much when I’m alone._

He didn’t, though, because all he wants is for Scott to be happy. He just wants Scott to enjoy his time here, and if Shawn makes him happy, well, it’s not Mitch’s place to protest, is it?

He flips over again and blinks at the wall a few times before he gives up and sits up, pulling the blanket over his shoulders and leaning up against the headboard. He grabs his phone, silently thanking Avi for his Christmas gift of a longass charging cable, “because you’re always complaining about not being able to use your phone while it’s charging, and I figured you’d be able to put it to good use,” accompanied with a bear hug.

Mitch scrolls Tumblr, carefully avoiding any actions that could make Scott aware that he’s still awake. That’s not his goal here. It’s not long before he comes across a photoset that compiles all the publicized times he and Scott were being close in Iceland and he has to close the app before he tears up. He doesn’t need tears now. He just needs to sleep and maybe all of his problems will go away.

A notification from a small channel he’s subbed to on YouTube pops up. The channel itself doesn’t create content, but it does compilations of sorts. Mitch clicks on their newest video, and it’s an audio track.

The description reads: _I’ve been kind of anxious lately, and something that seems to calm me is Scott’s voice. I’ve taken (high quality) tracks of him speaking and kind of blurred them together so it’s just layers and layers of indiscernible Scott talking. It’s kind of a stupid, non-content track, but I wanted it out here in case it helps anyone else. Enjoy xx._

Mitch plugs in his earbuds and plays the track, goosebumps instantly rising on his arms and neck when Scott’s voice melts into his ears, the tonality and inflections so familiar but so different when there’s no distinguishable words accompanying them. At first he plays a game, tries to pick out what tracks are from what interviews, but he gives up pretty quickly when more tracks are layered on and it’s just a smooth, bubbling blur of Scott’s voice.

Mitch lets his mind drift, thinks about the memories he and Scott have made over the years. They’ve been friends for close to fifteen years now, and there are hundreds, if not thousands of individual memories Mitch can pick out. The two of them playing together during recess. Scott falling and hurting himself like the clumsy noodle he is. Countless movie and ice cream dates as middle schoolers well into high school. House parties where they got absolutely hammered with each other and danced together when everyone else was occupied with someone else. Doing theatre together and repressed giggles backstage. None of these are even mentioning Pentatonix, and there are thousands more there. Sharing rooms on tour and binging Stranger Things. Waiting for each other in hair and makeup. Superfruit. Stealing Scott’s clothes to sleep in because they’re bigger and smell like him. Cuddling in the green rooms scrolling Instagram and Tumblr together.

Then there are more solemn memories. Coming out. Mitch first, with Scott ready with pints of Ben and Jerry’s both in case of crying or celebration. Then they switched roles, and it was Mitch with ice cream and Scott coming out. Their first real relationships. Supporting each other through their respective breakups. Moving in together. Getting a cat together that hyphenated their last names. Late night talks about nothing and everything all at once. Drinking and crying and passing out and taking care of each other. Scott helping Mitch through anxiety attacks when everything’s too much and Mitch helping Scott come out of his own mind when he gets too deep.

Will Shawn know how to do that? Will he be able to see when Scott digs himself too deep into his own head? Will he pick up the little signs that Mitch has learned to spot instantly? Will he know how to bring Scott back when he’s gone over the edge?

Mitch can’t say exactly when he drifts off, but it’s sometime too late, with Scott’s voice in his ears and memories weighing heavy on his mind and heart.

Maybe tomorrow, when he wakes up, everything will be okay.

He knows it won’t be, and it won’t be until he get a chance to sit Scott down for a few uninterrupted hours to talk things out, but he can hope, can’t he?

He knows he shouldn’t, but he does, because maybe, just maybe the night will fix things.

 

 

Thing is, hope is the second most dangerous feeling anyone can have.

 

Love is the first.

 

 

 

- _fin._

**Author's Note:**

> this wasn't betaed lolol cat i hope you enjoyed and pls leave a comment or kudos! they make my day like nothing else.
> 
> k im goin now bai


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